The search for free Wi-Fi is one that I know too well of late. I managed to lose my trusty stock-Android phone by crushing it in a car door. I was upset to see the old boy go, but happy that it suffered less than my previous one. That old fella was cooked alive on my Kmart hotplate when I was trying to make a hot chocolate in the unacknowledged darkness that descends over a mammoth gaming sesh. Whatever it may say on the autopsy report though, I was without a phone. The following month has seen me trouncing around this city with a Samsung tablet in my backpack, looking like a Galapagos turtle in desperate need of a plastic bag. Yeah, nah pretty tough time in my life frankly. About as low as a man can be brought.

However degrading my nomadic digital existence may be, it has given me a new appreciation for the many free Wi-Fi hotspots of Wellington. More specifically, I have come to notice the diversity and vibrancy of Windy Wellington's many Wi-Fi passwords. There really are endless possibilities in this space: they can be as rib-ticklingly humourous as eua2DGY6%@XugK!, as darkly intriguing as P>728G?6685:w^Ee, as disarmingly profound as t#]Q-b=1DAAyq; or, as the ever baffling @!30ciHF@7YbF will attest, just downright zany! 

I am Campus Dogman Esquire. These are the free W-Fi passwords of Wellington. You will join me, won't you? Splendid.